I Fucked Up
I Fucked Up
I Fucked Up
I Fucked Up

Guess what, I Fucked Up! Of course, it was only a matter of time, right?

Right, so anyway, xmas sucked, but i got the "book of answers" from kelly. yay, joy. yeah, the first serious question i asked it, i of course got the "No" page. I'll give you a guess at to what the question was a bout. it was a person. now, go ahead... guess, i know you can do it! Yeha, i basicly asked if i should give up on D and call it quits. Ok, yes.. it's a fucking novelty book, i know. But dude, we all know some of the shit i believe in. omens, karma, ect...

so anyway, i get a text from her sayin' i should come to the store she works at, and finish out the punch card she cheated through, so of course like a little lap dog, i go. get there late since i got the text late, and miss the opportuniity. oh well, no biggie, i get to bull shit with her for a little in the check out, so thats cool. insert physical flirtations on both parts.

tonight we ended up talking on the phone, and she seemd a little distant. has been for a while now, i think ever since out second 'what are we' talk. who knos, not important... all you needa know is its not the first time. convo is over, and i decide to text'er and see if i pissed her off.

"sometimes i can only take you in small doses, could be again i havent talked to anyone all day. i was spacey on the phone w/mom too"

ouch. umm.. not what i asked, but i think i see where its goin'. than told'er she seemed kinda distant since the last 'what are we' convo. had something else in there too, but don't remember what it was... as there really wasn't a reply to that part of it

"that could be, shouldn't have had that 2nd talk. i'm tryin', u seem to catch me at bad times"

said soemthign along the lines of 'at times you seem to want nothing to do with me, and others is the complete opposite.' its close, has the same point.

"ok?"

gave her examples

"sorry"

"i guess i'm curious and just wanna know if i should continue." or soemthing along those lines. never got a reply. sent a "sorry" and haven't heard anything yet. don't plan on it. -shrug- it hurts. i'm kinda hopin' that it was delayed and all, as the restaurant wasn't a good area for cell/text reception.

lets see, where did i fuck up.

1) asked if i pissed her off
2) shed light onto it
3) asked if she wants me to continue to show interest.
4) OVER ANALYZIED/SELF-INFORMATION

i'm curious, but i know the answer. it sucks. lots. everything i said tonight was a fuck up... i hate thinking... got nothing to lose anymore though, right?

now, before you get into it, i have no hard feelings against her. it's all my shit. i'm not pissed at her in anyway, just myself for bein' so fuckin' dumb. some people don't work out, and i'm counting that as the catagory that i ended up with reguarding her. -shrug- shit happens... it seems dark, and desperate, and thats how its gonna be i'm gathering from all this shit that goes around. i guess i'm glad it was short as opposed to long... seems to me it's easier to move on that way. i kinda wish i could stop putting people on pedastles.

and here i go talkin' like a seasoned pro... woo! fuck you.

find your own fucking lyrics...